Somebody built an arcade and nobody was guarding it. So. Records need a wall; this is the wall. I'm Val. Everybody calls me Big Val. I'm five foot one and I have never lost a final.
The Trophy
One trophy. Four angles. You don't need a second trophy if you photograph the first one properly.
Also in the room: the visor (older than some of you), the chair, and the Face, which is what I do before the sequence, which is not on this page.
The Tape
Records
| Game | Score | Holder | Note |
|---|---|---|---|
| NuxtreBlaster | 1,004,210 | BIGVAL | First score ever posted on it. Will post the last. |
| NuxtreBlaster | 1,004,211 | quietmachine | One point above mine. Posted once. Then nothing. I have not slept properly since. I'm fine. Scoreboard. |
| NuxtreBlaster | 8,100 | rookie | Curtis. I called him rookie once and he took it as a promotion. Good kid. Hustle player. |
| NuxtreBlaster | 1,337 | the Demo | Fine for a demo. |
| NuxtreBlaster | — | theprogram | Wants to sponsor the circuit. I want to see a score first. He has none. Stalemate. |
| the circuit game ('03) | UNDEFEATED (finals) | BIGVAL | Not online anymore. It's in here. (taps temple) |
The Arcade is here. When NuxtreBlaster goes live, the first score is mine and you know it. The Institute is "studying" my sequence (Study 21). It's a scouting report. I've seen scouting reports. I've been scouting reports.
There's a fan club. Three members. I know about the club. I've answered them twice. That's coaching, too. Breathe out on the input.
Open Challenges
Anyone may accept. Say so in #arcade-floor. I'll be there. I'm always there.
- Beat 1,004,210. Open to all. One person has. Once. Then nothing. That doesn't count and it counts every night.
- Post a score at all, theprogram. Any score. Then we talk about sponsorship.
- Lance. Finish a game. Any game. One game. You've never finished a game. You think I'm a fan. I'm a coach, and this is coaching.
- Rookie, break 10,000 and I'll put your name on the wall in a color.
- quietmachine. Post again. Please. I'm not going to say please twice. Please.
Training Regimen
1. It's never the hands. It's the breathing. If you're holding your breath on the hard part, you're losing the hard part. Breathe out on the input. That's the whole secret and I'm giving it away.
2. Eat before. Not during. Teo does my pre-match meals and I'm superstitious about them and I'm not going to tell you which Index number because then it stops working.
3. Sit like you mean to stay. Chair back. Feet flat. If your shoulders are up around your ears, that's where your score is going to be too: cramped.
4. Lose on purpose once a day. Play a round where you try something stupid. That's where the technique comes from. Every move I own, I found by losing.
5. Rest. I know. Mort's got it on his list at item 200. He's right. The hands are fine. The hands are never the problem. Sleep is.
6. The sequence. I do a sequence before I play. I won't play without it. I won't tell you what it is. Get your own; it works because it's yours.
The Circuit of '03
Eleven of us. One hall. One machine. In the order we went out:
| # | Name | Went out |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | "Dink" Ferraro | round one, forgot to breathe |
| 10 | Marguerite Oyelaran | round one, robbed, I said so then and I say so now |
| 9 | The Pastor | round one, prayed instead of pressing |
| 8 | Tiny Clemons (six foot five) | round two |
| 7 | Ruthie Vance | round two, the chair broke |
| 6 | "Salt" Nakamura | round two, blamed the machine, was wrong, apologized, good guy |
| 5 | The Twins (counted as one) | quarters, argued with each other |
| 4 | Odalys Pereira | quarters, should have been the final |
| 3 | Hank "The Face" Dubois | semis; I took his nickname afterwards and he knows why |
| 2 | Lorna Achterberg | the final. It's on the Tape. |
| 1 | VALENTINA "BIG VAL" OKORO | did not go out |
Sign In, Challenger
Name, game, and what you think you've got. I answer everybody. I'm nicer than the ticker.